Authentic

Authentic. A great word, heavily overused.

I wanted to write about authenticity today, then I found an old note to self about authenticity, then Dave Harland wrote about it in the newsletter I subscribe to, so it’s about time.

I’ve got ADHD. That’s the standard opener, and an excuse for everything. (I’m working on that).

The unfortunate result of ADHD is the desire to please everyone, so I find myself in the position where I mirror other people to the point where I forget where my own personality lies. As you can imagine, that’s not very helpful when it comes to trying to be authentic, because i’m never sure who I’m being authentic for. Me? Someone else I’m trying to impress? Someone else who looked at me a bit funny once and I spent an inordinate amount of time worrying about? Everybody? Nobody? It gets complicated.

There is one place where I’ve tried to practice that, and that’s the good old hellsite for business, LinkedIn.

My notes on a future post included some rules for myself - and frankly I think they are utter fucking gems.

• I never reflect on anything. I never understand why people use that word. They’re not mirrors. I can consider, imagine, cogitate, or just simply think about an event or feeling. Reflecting is, in my eyes, pretentious to the point of insanity.
• I don’t resonate either. I’m not a bloody tuning fork. If I ever felt like writing ’that resonated with me’ on a post, then I would gouge my eyes out with a fork. And the people that do write that meaningless tripe can get in the bin.
• ‘As a ’ is possibly the peak of worthless pretention-posting. I don’t give a shit who you are, and your position lends you no moral authority or expertise. If I don’t know you are, then I’m even less likely to believe anything you say. ‘As a world record holder for weeing in a baked bean tin from a height, I believe that’… please. just stop.
• The People Who Think That Writing A Capital Letter At The Beginning Of Every Word Makes Their Post Stand Out are deluded and type slower than anyone else. Doing this shit doesn’t make your post stand out; it makes me want to scroll past it as quickly as possible before I hurl my phone across the room and run out screaming.

I could add more. The ’team shot’ that shows the people in your company lined up grimacing into a camera like they’re getting ready for the firing squad - the only thing missing is the blindfold over their eyes. Act like you’re having fun for God’s sake. Throw some gang poses. Pull silly faces. Do the 1970s thoughtful album cover shot. At the very least, change the bloody camera angle. Jesus Christ.

Anyway.

Now that I’ve got that out of my system, I once again have to authentically apologise for this post not being out at 9am on a friday, like I promised myself it would be. Given that I don’t do site analytics and have no idea how many people read this, there may be absolutely none of you at all, but I made the promise to myself and I was late again.

I have held of from giving strangers money to validate myself or act as some form of external crutch because I already know what I need to be doing; one of those sticky bits is being myself (atually myself) long enough to write in my own voice.

This blog is an experiment in that, and I’m a little disappointed that this far into the year I’m still not entirely comfortable with my own positioning and voice… but I’m getting there.

I’ll probably add a footnote later when I recall that I meant to write more about myself and my apporach to authenticity, but as the kids say: “Looks cute, might delete / edit later.”

See you next week.